Story by Nicki Cruz.
I was born into a family bound by witchcraft. My father was a satanic priest, my mother was a witch. My parents were deeply engrossed in shamanism and black magic.
When I was born, I was raised and dedicated to Satan, my head was anointed with blood. I inherited my father’s mantle, so my life became a curse.
When I was a child I never got a single kiss from my mother, nor did I kiss her. I felt like I died at the age of 8 when I heard my mom say she didn’t love me.
I felt no affection and I was brutally beaten up multiple times until the age of eight. Many times I lay unconscious in a pool of blood. At the age of 4 I wanted to kill myself.
You know it really hurts when your mom calls you a “freak” and “bastard.” I eventually realized she didn’t love me and I hated her for it. I screamed with a heartbreak that I’d rather be called a “nothing,” than be called her son.
The last time she beat me when I was an 8 year old, I swore I would never love someone or cry again in my life.
At the age of fifteen I ended up in New York with the Mau Mau gang named after a blood thirsty African tribe.
The gang became the “family” I never had. A family of hooligans that draw their strength from each other and took care of each other.
New York is a city where you need to keep your eyes on your neck. It was all about survival. You had to adhere to the laws of the jungle. And the beast doesn’t know the difference between good and evil. The beast must be killed to survive.
I could always remember my mother’s voice when she grabbed my hair and hit my head against the wall and blood flowed. I tried to look into her eyes like balls of fire to see something human, but all I saw was cold and hate. And I heard, “You are not my son, I don’t love you.” Get out of my life, I don’t wanna see you!”
In the gang I knew I was going to die young. But in my life I was already dead. I died at the age of 8 when my mom told me she didn’t love me.
At 16 years old I led that gang myself in New York.
I fell into the depths of hell, thought about suicide many times.
When the police arrested me, I was cut off from all the other prisoners because I was dangerous.
The court ordered me to be treated by a psychiatrist. Then I met Dr. Goodman. He took me to one of the worst hospitals ever, a very famous hospital for crazy people. Then he took me to another psychiatric clinic in Manhattan.
Six months later, when I was walking with him on the street, he directly said to me, “You’re just cold!. I tried to infiltrate you, punch you in the chest for some kind of emotional response. But you are completely lifeless, you are very dangerous. “And he said there’s nothing I can do for you Nicki! You’re going straight to jail for the electric chair. To hell with it. And there’s no hope for you. You are dead’.
But by the grace of God these words did not come to pass!
God became my last hope and in my affliction He found me. I never thought about God in my childhood, until suddenly this man Pastor Wilkerson fell down from heaven into our neighborhood.
The police warned him: “They will kill you.” This is a jungle, a battlefield. “All we gotta do is come get your body.”
Wilkerson answered them with great conviction: “God will be with me! “The police said, “We hope he stays with you, because we’re leaving!” “
This man was used by God. When i showed no interest in anyone, God showed interest. He put a big love in this man’s heart and brought him to New York’s biggest city with a message of hope.
Just two weeks before this my psychiatrist said “Nicky, you sit on the electric chair and you’re going to hell! “
But Wilkerson said to me, ” no, that’s not true! There is a heaven, there is a God, and that’s Jesus Christ who died for your sins, who gave his life for you just as you are willing to give your life for your friends, gang members.
There is a God who is truly the living God his name we remember. But when one of you dies – no one remembers you, you’re not there anymore. But Jesus is always there. He is not dying ! “
And this is the most important news David Wilkerson has ever given me. And I approached him and started beating him.
I wouldn’t let him go. He couldn’t get rid of me easily. I cursed him, his God and everything in this world.
Like a wild animal, I jumped on him, grabbed his hair and started banging his head against the wall. Just like my mom did to me. But this guy, ignoring the pain and blood, said in the middle of the street, in the presence of three hundred witnesses: “Nicky, I’m not scared.” I came here to tell you the news from heaven. I came to tell you Nicky Jesus loves you! “And when he told me, I backed out.
I had my eyes on him. And he said if you want, you can kill me. And I know that you can. But even if you kill me and cut me into a thousand pieces and scatter them all over the street, remember: every piece will scream to you: Nicky, Jesus loves you! “
This hit me hard. It felt like a heartbeat.
Two weeks later I went to listen to this man.
I didn’t go alone, I brought 70 guys as security to listen to this skinny guy.
To my great surprise, there were already two thousand people there. Twelve gangs. We came prepared. I walked in with a loaded 22 caliber pistol.
The first few minutes seemed boring to me. I was restless, high on drugs. But seven minutes later something happened to me that night.
Wilkerson explained why Jesus came to earth. What really touched me was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
But then I saw Jesus Christ crucified before my eyes, so alive that I thought I was there and saw Him die.
And this has touched me deeply. I was defeated by the perseverance of Jesus. Loyalty to friendship. He, Jesus, friend, the best friend you could ever have.
He is not a lying politician who promises a lot and fails to deliver. He promises you eternal life. He promised to die for you – and he fulfilled. And I look up to such Jesus.
It was the first time in my life that I felt respect for someone. And this honor brought me to kneel before my savior Jesus Christ.
Glory be to Jesus! “
Today, Nicky Cruz travels all over the world, ministering and preaching the gospel.
The previously insensitive “beast” teaches people about forgiveness and love. He’s the founder of “The Ministry of Nicki Cruz”, which helps young people leave lives of crime and turn to Christ and serve Him.
David Ray Wilkerson was an American Christian evangelist, best known for his book The Cross and the Switchblade. He was the founder of the addiction recovery program Teen Challenge, and founding pastor of the interdenominational Times Square Church in New York City. (to read more click on the link. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicky_Cruz )
The Cross and the Switchblade.
In 1958, Pentecostal pastor David Wilkerson of the Assemblies of God church, read an article in Life magazine about seven teenagers who were members of a criminal gang, As he read, he felt the Holy Spirit move him with compassion, drawn to go to New York, in order to preach to them. Upon his arrival, Wilkerson went to the court in which teenagers were being prosecuted. He entered the room and asked the judge for permission to tell them something, but the judge ejected him. Upon leaving, someone took a photo of Wilkerson, who then became known as the Bible preacher “who had interrupted the gang trial”. Soon after this, he began a street ministry to young drug addicts and gang members, which he continued into the 1960s. He founded Teen Challenge in 1958, an evangelical Christian addiction recovery program in Brooklyn with a network of Christian social and evangelizing work centers. ( to read more click on the link. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Wilkerson
Pastor Cruz is also the author of many books, including a bestseller, “Run, Baby Run.”
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