I Think I Made a Mistake.

Story by Scotty Gray.

Many years ago, my friend Robin, was engaged to a man 6 years her senior, whom she dated for 2 years.  She came to realize this would not be a marriage based on love.  She spoke with her father about her concerns.  “Dad, I think I made a mistake. I don’t think I love him enough to spend the rest of my life with him.”  Her dad said “sure you love him honey”, and reassured her it was just nerves.  Still uneasy and feeling like it wouldn’t last, she decided she’d better not disappoint everyone and go through with it.  Shortly thereafter, while having lunch with her sister, Robin said of her pending marriage, if it didn’t work out, she could always get a divorce.  Her sister told her that if Robin was considering divorce as an option before even getting married, then there was a serious flaw in her understanding of the marriage commitment. 

Robin decided to end the engagement.

A few years later, after working as a fast-food restaurant manager, she joined the Air Force. She met a young man, Rick, and got married with a completely different attitude.  Robin left the military to become a “stay at home mom” for their three kids when Rick got stationed in England.

One day, Robin was visited by the military police, informing her that her husband had been sexually harassing women, using his office phone on base.  He was court martialed and placed in military prison in England.  This meant Robin and her three small children would have to return to Green Bay, Wisconsin where she grew up.  She returned to food service management and did the “single parent” bit.  After his release, Rick joined his family in Green Bay.  Within 6 months, Robin was visited by police detectives, informing her that Rick had repeated his former crimes.  A plea deal was made and Rick wouldn’t have to serve prison time.

Robin rejoined the Air Force, and the family moved to the West Coast. We stayed in touch during this period, and I was impressed with her dedication to her husband, family, and her marriage.  We spoke every few months and she shared her journey.  One time, I called and asked how things were going.  I braced for the worst when she began to reply, “oh Scott…”  then: “I could not have asked for a better husband and father.”  Rick and their son were active in the church band and the whole family was strong in their relationship with God.  The woman who once thought that divorce was a reasonable option, committed herself to a Godly principal that has served her well for over 40 years; even though the historic brokenness of her husband’s soul did eventually cause him to walk away from his commitment.

Not long ago, Robin remarried and continues to commit herself to her husband as she did in her first marriage.

When communicating with Robin about sharing her story, she sent me this note: “God is a God of Restoration. What the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy (marriages, family, etc.) God comes and breathes new life and uses our pain to help others.  7 – ½ years ago, I remarried and now, along with my husband, facilitate a divorce care ministry in our church helping others heal from the pain of divorce.

Editor’s note:

Jeremiah 29, verse 11. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jesus never said that our life as a Christian would be uneventful, without trials, adversity, or heartache. Many of us will have taken multiple trips through the Valley of the Shadow of Death in our lives. But, when we come out of the other side of the valley, and look back from that vantage point, we will see there are two sets of footprints. God does not make us walk through the valley alone. Don’t let go of His hand.